Recently the Ucon Stake presidency invited me to speak at their general priesthood meeting—at 7:30 AM on Sunday morning. I’m normally up then for our ward’s PEC meeting so the early hour was no big deal. And I’m not afraid of speaking to large crowds—it’s part of the job—so I was happy and honored to accept.
On Saturday night I called the counselor in the stake presidency who invited me to speak. We confirmed the time, place, and I asked if they wanted a formal talk or if it could be informal with some audience participation. I also asked how much time I had because I have developed a PowerPoint presentation titled “Building Men of Character.” He said that sounded like exactly what they want and I would have at least a half-hour. I told him I would arrive at about 7:AM to set up and asked if there was a digital projector I could use. Every stake center has a projector and a member who knows how to set it up and get things working. I’m okay with technical stuff—unless something goes wrong and then I can get in trouble fast.
I arrived early and turned on my laptop and got everything up and running but there was no projector and no one there who looked like they could help. (For most of the time it was just me and the organist playing prelude music.) I had brought one of the Council’s projectors just in case (Be Prepared) and went out to my car to bring it in. By then (7:15) people were arriving at a steady rate. When I came back into the chapel the members of the stake presidency were taking their places on the rostrum. After the introductions I asked if there was a projector available and someone who could help me get things setup. I was told they would have to dig it out so I said I would just use the projector I brought.
I set up the projector and got it hooked into the computer but, Murphy’s Law being what it is, the projector couldn’t find the signal from the computer. I know there is an f-key you are supposed to hit but I didn’t know which one (I tried a couple I thought might be right) and the normal icon on the f-key was not there. What to do? It was time to start the meeting. They were waiting for me to finish and all eyes were upon me. I told them not to wait for me.
My stress level was rising. When I’m under stress I start sweating. I could feel the sweat on my sideburns and the back of my neck. Someone help me!!! (Silent earnest prayer.)
While they started the meeting I restarted the computer. During the announcements I checked the projector—and it was working!!! (Silent prayer of thanks.) I was the third and final speaker and my projector was sitting on top of the podium. Poor form. So during the opening hymn I moved the projector down off the podium. I had been told there was a musical number between the second speaker and me so my plan was to reposition the projector during the musical number.
The first speaker was a recently returned missionary from Brazil. I’m sure he gave a nice talk but I was distracted. I noticed there was a portable microphone and a stand on the other side of the rostrum. I assumed it was going to be used for the musical number. I planned on setting up the projector on the top of the pulpit and using the other microphone to speak into. But the pulpit slanted the wrong way. I had to find a way to change the slant. The projector had a little foot that popped down in the front to raise the image but I was pretty sure it wasn’t long enough to overcome the slant of the pulpit. I was looking around and racking my brain to figure out what I could use to prop up the front of the projector. Before the meeting I tried the most obvious thing—a hymn book—but the cover was too smooth and it slid down the pulpit dragging the projector with it. I didn’t think that would make a very good presentation. By now the second speaker was warming to his topic. Although I had no idea what his topic was, I’m sure it was good.
There were two stepping stools on either side of the pulpit but they were both flat. The smaller of the two was covered with carpet and I thought that might provide enough traction to hold the hymn book in place. So now I had a plan: computer to the right of the pulpit, projector on the carpeted stool on top of the projector, me to the left of the pulpit with the microphone in my right hand and my remote-control-advance-the-slide gizmo in my left hand. All set, ready to go. Deep breath, calm down, stop sweating, get in the zone.
I looked at the clock in the back of the chapel. The meeting had been going for over half an hour! Where did the time go? And the second speaker was still going strong. He was a good speaker and was sharing a personal story of a life threatening accident and how priesthood holders had blessed him literally figuratively. Good story, nice spirit, but he was eating well into my time and I had to start rewriting my presentation in my head. Skip this, summarize that. Drop my favorite funny Scouting story—too long. No time for audience participation. As he kept going I kept cutting. And there was still the musical number—perhaps it will be a short one—or it might be all seven verses of “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief” and I could forget my presentation and just bear my testimony and sit down.
The speaker ended and sat down. I relaxed and waited for the musical number. Musical numbers always sooth me and bring the spirit. But nothing was happening. Everyone was looking at me. What’s going on??? The missionary nudged me and whispered, “You’re up.” What?! If I had been listening to the announcements instead of messing around with the projector I would have heard there was no musical number after all.
I jumped up and started messing with the electronics. Some kind soul came over to assist me. The plan was lost and forgotten. Computer on the big stool on the floor, projector on the right, me at the pulpit, where’s the portable microphone? It’s not hooked up? No time, start talking, everyone is staring and waiting. Deep breath, silent prayer, start talking. Who are these people? I don’t know them, they don’t know me—what am I doing here? Forget about all that. I’m a good speaker, I know my subject—START TALKING!!!
“Good morning. I’m Clarke Farrer, the Scout executive of the Grand Teton Council, and it’s an honor to be here with you this morning. This year marks the 100th anniversary of the Boy Scouts of America . . .” Calm, cool, and collected. As I spoke I took out my remote control gizmo and clicked the button to advance the screen to begin my presentation. Nothing happened. I clicked it again with more pressure—nothing. I tried the laser pointer—nothing. The battery was dead. Oh, that’s great, now what?
I asked the missionary if he would serve as my remote control. By now there were only about fifteen minutes left in the meeting. Since the screen was behind be and the computer was on the floor, I couldn’t see what I was doing. I ended up standing beside the pulpit to speak into the microphone and twisting my upper body and neck backwards to look at the screen. I’m sure I looked like a contortionist. And I still held onto my remote control and waved it around like it was some kind of magic wand. Perhaps I was unconsciously hoping it would start working and save me.
Looking back, I should have chucked the presentation and covered the same points in a straight talk format. Is that what the Lord was trying to tell me the whole time? If so, I wasn’t listening. I stumbled through the presentation. No, I sped through the presentation, hitting the high points and skipping about half of it. I doubt it registered on any meaningful level with anyone there—including me. I was dripping wet by the time I sat down.
The Boy Scouts claim the Scouting program builds character. Well, I certainly had my character built that morning. I should probably tear the Public Speaking Merit Badge off my merit badge sash.
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